This piece was written just prior to my arrival in India on December 24, 2012, but remained incomplete. After a quick edit and polish, I present it here in its original tense, despite just having returned from India.
I got the shakes just before leaving Singapore. It was two and a half years since my last visit to India and I had forgotten how hardcore it can be. On the whole, India is a pretty safe place to travel – it’s not exactly a warzone and whilst violence and crime certainly occur, most foreigners get away with being ripped off a few times and suffering some health issues. Yet, travelling in India takes a lot of effort and can be at times quite harrowing. It is not, despite its reputation as a centre for meditation and religious retreat, a very relaxing country.
I’ve written several stories about my first trip to India and some of the various experiences I had there. Some fictionalised, others as memoir, and it is not an easy place to which to do justice. It can be breathtaking and amazing, restful and beautiful, yet it can also be utterly exhausting and very frustrating. It also has its attendant, inherent difficulties – such as the heat and dust, the discomfort, the chaos, the noise, the touts, the lying and cheating that goes hand in hand with incredible hospitality, and the inconvenience of not being able to drink the tap water in a country that is often unrelentingly hot and humid.
In my first few days in India in March 2010 I struggled to make sense of the place and learn to negotiate it. Rather like being thrown in at the deep end, I learned to swim soon enough, yet not before having a number of difficult and challenging experiences and getting sick. The illness in itself wasn’t so bad – stomach cramps and diarrhoea – but after a few days it made me feel very weak. For two days in Pushkar I did almost nothing but lie in my hotel room and read, with occasional ventures outside.
After four days, travelling further into Rajasthan, I arrived in Udaipur dehydrated and exhausted. The weakness of not eating much for three days made me paranoid and, sitting alone in my hotel room watching the cricket that night I got the crazy idea that I might genuinely die. I force-fed myself a vegetable biriani and fruit salad and the following morning went straight to the chemist to get some antibiotics. Within twelve hours of taking them, the illness vanished and I cursed myself for not having done so sooner. Take my advice – most gastric illness in India is bacterial and over-the-counter antibiotics are readily available at any medical shop.
As soon as I got better, that first trip in India really got underway. With my strength returned, I was able to put in the hard yards and see and do the things I wanted to. The more I saw of India, the more I loved it – but this love came with serious reservations about why I felt the way I did. It was all very well to see charm and romance and the exotic, yet alongside that was terrible poverty, failing infrastructure, appalling hygiene in public places, rubbish dumped and burned everywhere on the streets, including plastics and excrement, and such a harrowing welter of noise pollution, overcrowding and almost non-stop inquisitions from people I passed that it was equally depressing and demoralising. It was, of course, a photographers’ paradise, but my joy at the subject matter was tainted by a feeling of intrusion and exploitation and terms like “poverty porn” lingered in my mind. I tried very hard on that trip to remain friendly and positive. For the first few weeks I answered every query, shook hands with a hundred strangers and stopped for the ubiquitous “just one photo, sir”, but after a time India’s constant assault forced me to retreat inside myself. I turned to my headphones and sunglasses and started ignoring people.
A better solution, however, came when I arrived in Darjeeling. Perhaps it was the prevalence of Buddhism, the cool calm of the mountains or just the friendly, peaceful nature of the Ghorka people, but in Darjeeling people left me alone. When people did greet me or make an inquiry, it was not merely preliminary to an attempted transaction.
In the rest of India there seems to be an automatic reflex whereupon, seeing a tourist, if staring is insufficient, then belting out the question “which country?” is the next step. This was sometimes done in the nicest possible way, but often it was thrown at me with such urgency that it felt impolite. What really surprised me was how often the inquirers accepted the answer without further ado, at times seeming almost uninterested, which left me wondering why they had needed to ask in the first place. It was like being a display, which, to be fair, was probably not much different from how people felt when I was photographing them – though I do try to shoot as surreptitiously as possible.
The solution, it seemed, to avoiding the hustle of India, was to be in the mountains, which wasn’t exactly India after all. Once I’d discovered the relative calm of the mountains, I did my best to stay there.
From Darjeeling I flew across to Amritsar where I lasted one day before taking a bus across Punjab into the mountains around Dharamsala.
I was so reluctant to return to the heat, dust and general hubbub hat I stayed another three weeks in Himachal Pradesh before finally venturing down again via Shimla.
By the end of that journey, just shy of two months, I felt like an old veteran after a long campaign. Yet my energy was also pretty well spent and I had fallen into a state of relative dissipation. Tired and world-weary, I wandered around Varanasi in a daze, wiped out by heat and hash. I made sure I took the photographs I wanted to get, yet the subject that had so fascinated me for the first two months – namely India – had become a little less appealing.
I could no longer stomach the scent of excrement, urine and decomposition. I had no more patience for beggars, priests, touts or even genuinely curious Indians. I literally just wanted to shoot the place and avoid any interactions. When anyone spoke to me I shook my head, pointed to the headphones, raised my hands as though to say, “Sorry, dude, I can’t hear you,” and walked away. It was not how I wanted to be at all, and I hid out in my hotel room at times, simply indulging in privacy and regretting the feelings of displeasure I had with the world at large. I guess introverts should travel in Scandinavia instead.
It was for these reasons that, just prior to my flight into Thiruvananthapuram for a second visit to India, I started to have reservations about where I was going. I should be looking forward to the challenge, but perhaps I am too effete and western for the grit and grime of it all. Still, despite the above introduction, my last trip was one of the greatest experiences of my life and I came away from it feeling very inspired. This time is also bound to be different for a number of reasons. Firstly, I’ll be starting in the south instead of the north and travelling in regions I’ve not visited before. Secondly, I’m not travelling alone this time around. V is coming with me, or I with her if you will, and the dynamic will be very different indeed. It will certainly be a lot easier with someone to share the highs and lows, and I hope it will be more enjoyable as a consequence. Hopefully I will come away both appreciating what I have discovered anew and having been reminded of what is important and good in life. I also hope to shoot a hell of a lot of good photographs. Wish me luck.
Tragicocomedia 
Thank you for this! I lived in India in ’09 and as a solo female traveler it was so difficult. I loved and hated it at the same time.
“I could no longer stomach the scent of excrement, urine and decomposition. I had no more patience for beggars, priests, touts or even genuinely curious Indians.”
I know that feeling all too well. I went home in a storm of confusion. I was happy and heartbroken and to be leaving this country that for years intruiged me and that i couldn’t quite break into.
I am longing to go back…Perhaps, we enjoy the discomfort more than we would like to admit…?
I love the pictures. I’ve always wanted to go to India. Check out some of my pictures of Germany at http://www.inspiringthroughthelens.com
My parents returned from a trip to India just in Dec ’12. Definitely a vibrant culture and on my ‘bucket list’ of places.
Thanks for sharing your travels. You might benefit from checking into probiotics and other wellness tips from my humble website– http://www.howtostopcolds.com –before departing again. Best wishes.
Thank you for a beautiful post. And good luck!
Thanks for graphically sharing your journey. The images are beautiful stories themselves. The words satify my curiosity for traveling there. May your path continue with compassion and success!
Loved reading this. I have watched several documentaries on India and have a good friend I met online from India. He is obsessed with American culture, American music, movies, it’s so hard for me to picture him in the country you describe. Plus I love to travel in general and I love hearing first hand anyone’s experiences in another country. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Well shot and written! I’m terribly interested in discovering India for myself one day. Your stories really pique my curiosity – I look forward to reading more.
Thank you for sharing your story. I like the digital photos that you have shared so far. I don’t think you need any luck in shooting more good photographs. Looking forward to seeing more of your memoirs! Thanks! http://www.segmation.wordpress.com
Good luck and love the top down pic of colourful humanity in the boat.
All the very best for your trip to India Sir! Even though you have penned the essence of a vast and a culturally diverse country like India beautifully, nevertheless, being an Indian, I must tell you a few things which will help you here considering your last experience. If Indians stare at you, it is only because you are different from them, and they have never had either the chance or the capability to see and experience the rest of the World like you have. Give them a chance, or just simply smile, but yes, always keep your guard up. Also, the mountains in Shimla are as much India as the dizzying lanes of Varanasi, or the beaches of Goa. India has many faces to it, and you haven’t seen India unless you have felt each and every one of them. I hope and am sure you will have a wonderful time here. Happy journey!
Yes, in reflection the tone of my comment re. the staring sounds uncharitable and unempathetic and you’re absolutely right as to the source of it – but after several weeks it became disquieting to the point that I had to wear sunglasses – I don’t like making eye-contact at the best of times and found that rather than getting used to it, I felt increasingly uncomfortable. Having just returned from this second trip, however, and having travelled with my girlfriend who is white, it was she who got the staring in far greater measure despite efforts to dress “modestly” – to such a degree, with such persistence, intensity and at times, with a look not of curiosity but either lasciviousness or loathing, that it became unbearable and left her in tears on a couple of occasions – including one instance where some young women stood around and poked her. Of course it’s a consequence of historical circumstances, cultural differences and a very unequal relationship between two parties, but that doesn’t make it any more palatable and I make a point of it because from conversations with other travellers it’s a relatively common complaint and people should be aware that, like it or otherwise, it’s going to happen pretty much all the time if you are white and travel in India.
I love this article, I am new to blogging and can tell you I have nothing yet… but you are an inspiration to what I want to become. Thank you for this amazing blog
Thanks so much for such a lovely compliment!
Reblogged this on ARZcreation.com.
Very well written. I have a traveler’s heart myself so I love reading stories like these. I’ve never been to India but I’ve heard people say it’s beautiful. I liked reading the other side of the story.
I understand what you said about “poverty porn”. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it myself, yet I would also want to have some (read: many) decent genuine pictures of life in India. For myself, so I can remember, and maybe even for my children or their children. I hope by the time I’m 70 or 80 I will be able to pass on many wonderful stories of all that I’ve seen in the world.
Wow, this is such a well written reflection, albeit a post/pre reflection after the fact, about a place that I desire to visit as well. Your words are amazing and the images are as well. I had the pleasure of 10 months of traveling with my better half (which I’m still trying to catch up on over at my blog) and it is a very different experience sharing highs and lows versus dealing with them alone. This is especially true when dealing with an illness (sometimes those close to us can convince us to seek a little help sooner than our toughened/seasoned travelers mind will consider the option). Small villages up in the mountains have almost always been the most rewarding and fulfilling parts of travel for me. Large cities expose a lot of the ugly truths about poverty and governmental compliance with the general state of the majority of its population. Poverty porn! I’ve never heard this term before but know exactly it means. I try and capture the culture, not the despair in my images. I hope the trip was inspiring. Great work, and congrats on being freshly pressed!
Sincerely,
new follower
You might be thankful that you are not one of them 🙂
India is hard and gritty and I really admire those who jump in. I spent years there as a kid growing up and I visit every other year for a month or two and for me that is all I can handle. I’m from Hyderabad and its hard for me to acclimate even though I have a solid support system of family and I know my way around. It’s just gritty, the poverty, the dirt, the culture, the kids you can’t escape and after a month or so of City life, I’m done. But every time I go I take back some important lesson and it’s where my family is from so it will always be home.
I’m glad you have gone back after your first visit. I hope this time you didn’t get sick! South India is so different from the North and I look forward to seeing your photos! Great post!
BEAUTIFUL, stunning photography.
I grew up in India. Talk about a trip. We moved to India when I was 14 and I left ten years later. People ALWAYS stared at me. And even though I spoke the language they still STARED and always always always treated me as an outsider. My mother still lives there. She has lived over half of her life there and people still call her ‘firengi’. Don’t let it get to you. It’s not meant in a mean way.
My friend was in India and called it an “assault on the senses.” I don’t think I quite understood what he meant until seeing your photos today.
Loved reading your post! And the pics are simply awesome. Thanks for uploading. Hope your trip goes even better this time!! 🙂 I can’t wait to read about it
I returned from India about two months ago. It is now my favorite country. It is challenging and crazy at times, but so rewarding and colorful. I loved the people and the festivals were a huge unexpected bonus.
Great photos. You have some clicks from different perspectives. Congrats on being freshly pressed.
Loved the photoes. Travel in some countries makes us realise how luckey we are.
thanks for such an honest account of your feelings. it is not something that we hear about india.
i wonder if u could take photos of the middle class india. we know of the poor india, lots of pictures of those akin to poverty porn as you have mentioned , and there is the rich india, that too we have seen lots of pictures and maybe it is a form of wealth porn. but there have been very little pics about the middle classes in india. maybe a more balanced picture which includes them showing their lives would make us realise that india is not only about the very poor and very rich and give a more balanced perspective.
but maybe pics of the middle classes living their lives like all middle classes everywhere are not very picturesque.
Hi there! Am so glad you brought this up. Most non-Indians have time only to visit major cities like Mumbai and Delhi, which can be undeniably dirty/unpleasant to experience at times. The people they interact with on the street are either homeless or poor. Moreover, I feel that somehow cliched images are what seem to find appeal in the West – the Taj Mahal, a mandatory Sadhu, the Rajasthanis in their colourful attire, a malnourished child. So, we see so many images of India that are either not flattering or done to death. The images on this blog are exceptionally good though.
Irrespective, carrying on with what I was saying – India is all of these things but, it is much more. I don’t claim to represent the middle class but, through my blog I am trying to show a side of the story that one might not normally see. I do hope it helps to portray India in a better light – the way some of us here see it.
Having said that, I do agree that Indians do not respect others’ privacy as much as they should and as an India I only apologize to all my brothers and sisters out there for intrusive behaviour.
Apologies for the grammatical errors – I meant ‘Having said that, I do agree that Indians do not respect others’ privacy as much as they should and, as an Indian I can only apologize to all my visiting brothers and sisters for our intrusive behaviour.’
Reblogged this on ON THE WIRE.
Simply lovely photographs. Honest descriptive prose. I can almost smell the streets! Thank you.
Thank you for sharing a deeper look into India. From your story, it’s an interesting place with some drawbacks which all the more keeps me excited to experience it. Congratulations on the FP! :=)
Reblogged this on Elliot Claire London.
Did you notice the many pigs on the road? I did ask a driver on my way to Taj Mahal….why there are so many pigs around but I saw none in the bollywood movies? He answered me rather candidly…..” Those pigs are the municipal workers. They clean the streets of faeces etc.”
Oh God….I could only swallow my saliva hard to learn that fact.
Love your style of blogging and admire the way you take photos!
Work had to send us to India for 6 weeks in early 2012. We were all females and were all eager to travel. I guess it’s our passion for travelling that allowed us to overcome any worries or hesitations prior to our trip there. During our first week, we never even tried to ride their rickshaws, but after our first experience during the following week, we easily got used to it and didn’t feel it was dangerous at all. In contrary to the current news that’s tainting the country, we never felt harassed. Never felt like we needed to go home early because it wasn’t safe anymore. Never felt like we needed to call for help when our cab driver would bring us to souvenir shops which he always introduced by saying that we didn’t need to buy anything, “just look”. We were situated in Mumbai and given its lack of historic ambiance, relative to the other cities ofcourse, we had to venture outside. We traveled to Jaipur, Agra and New Delhi. There, we had an awesome time, too! Got lost but totally worth the experienced. Awed in the sight of the majestic Taj Mahal and got high in the beautiful temples across Jaipur. Writing about India just makes me miss it so much more, I do promise to blog about my India experiences by March. 🙂
being n indian, i lil bit agree n undrstnd hw u flt…bt nxt tim hav a visit to extreme beautifl places v hav…except u mentiond in our text ..u ll b lovin it…
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Love the photos.
An excellent description of your journey! Simply reaffirms that when I do go to India, I shall not travel alone, nor without someone who knows the area/country well.
Beautiful pictures!
beautiful photographs…but it was interesting to get an outsider’s perspective of India…after all…what you found exotic, is par for the course for us Indians…having grown up in that environment. But, you are spot on about the excessive inquisitiveness of the people…perhaps it comes from the huge population which leaves little space for, and in turn respect for, privacy…
Great writing, I plan on taking my first trip to Kenya in June. I hope I can capture the experience as you did on my first intake of my beloved country I left 2 decades ago
Great photos! And your writing gave me a sense of India
Thank you for sharing your experience. Enjoy your visit! Loved your photos! 🙂
I wish you had put up pics of urban India rather than the more rural ones… Being Indian I am not surprised how you feel- each time I go back home (which is mostly once a year) I am usually horrified with the changes- the smells and the traffic…….. but there are some beautiful places too- brimming with wonderful people!
I am from the state of Kerala in the southern part of India! We’ve our fair share of the bad things but like any place, there are some beautiful and breathtaking views and places here. I hope you were able to enjoy some of them 🙂
Cheers from India 🙂
Thanks to everyone for your comments, which are always interesting to read. It’s very pleasing to receive a response and generate discussion with a piece of writing. I hope it is clear that I do very much love India and certainly don’t mean to sound too negative about the experience. It really is a great place to travel for all manner of reasons, especially considering the geographical and cultural diversity. As to feeling conspicuous, inevitably people will respond according to their unique psychology and for some having five men watch you eat a meal is just a bit weird!
It’s also important to note that the noise, crowds and relative degree of chaos is of course part of the attraction of travelling there and actually much of the frustration I experienced during my two visits was very much on behalf of the locals. I don’t mean this to sound patronising or superior, yet I think it is sad how much money India is generating right now and how little is being effectively poured back into good infrastructure and services – of course, the great siphon of corruption seems an insurmountable problem, but either way many things need serious investment and overhauls. How frustrating it must be to try to run a professional business when the electricity grid regularly crashes, how bad for the health of all not to have a thorough system of rubbish collection and disposal in many places. I would love India to remain completely Indian and not just become some copycat western society, but that doesn’t mean people can’t have better services and infrastructure.
I would encourage everyone to go to India and eat the amazing street food, meet the people, be blown away by the history, geography and the vibrant modern culture, zoom around in autorickshaws, ride the local buses and trains, see the sights and get in amongst it because it is truly incredible – but just brace yourselves for a wild ride.
I hope to! You didn’t sound negative about the experience. You were honest. Anyone who has traveled at all in an unfamiliar place can relate. Thank you.
I’ve never been to India, in fact the only other country I’ve been in was Canada (for an 8th grade field trip). I would love to travel the world, but current family and economic reasons hold me back. I really appreciate your post. I feel as though I was able to experience India through your post, since I’ll probably never get the chance to visit it myself. I love your photographs. My favorite is the boat with all the people and colors! So beautiful. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Reblogged this on kaylaburton2013.
I loved the pictures and the way u wrote post, i have lived in Pakistan for 5 years and both countries share a lot in common like culture, language and beggers, so i believe i have seen india.
Thanks for your this posting.
Enthralling article – thanks.
Reblogged this on Oyia Brown.
Outstanding photos… I am really impressed. I have just started my own blog (entirely different subject matter about creating positive change in your life… strivebalance.com). I work for an small international adventure tour operator, so your story of India really captivated me!
Felt great to hear the goodness of my country from you!
India awaits for ur cming again!
My immediate reaction to your story/blog on India is why did you go at all. From the outset its whinge whinge whinge, Oh the dirt, the smelll, oh the crowds, and all that Indian food. India is a fantastic country and the people are welcoming and friendly, a white knuckle ride for sure but that’s why you go. Eat your heart out Disney I’ve been to India many times, never got ill, never got ripped off, because I’d been pre-warned what one might expect in a third world country as a white rich westerner. Dont drink the water, dont eat uncooked food, its all in the manual. All I can say is thank you India. Interesting that we tend to point a finger with accusations of corruption. Step back just a sec and look at the society we inhabit, Corruption we invented the model.We’ve ripped off and robbed throughout our history and India was just one of the many countries subjugated.A piece of friendly advice on your next visit wear a mask cause they’ll be waiting for you at the airport .Nice photos mind you. Best wishes.
Thanks for being frank in your response, yet it seems more appropriate to suggest that your comment is something of a whinge. Congratulations on your superior wisdom, yet you make far too many assumptions about my own preparedness which was considerably less naive than you think. Irrespective of how closely one observes “the manual” whether or not one gets sick is as much a matter of luck as anything else – who would suspect a freshly cooked vegetable biriani as the culprit? Second time around I never got sick and I took far more risks food-wise, I consider myself lucky in that regard. And no, I didn’t ever get ripped off either because I didn’t fall for it, though all manner of attempts were made. And yes, having been through Vietnam and Cambodia etc. the experience of being a white tourist in a considerably poorer country was more than familiar, had it not been so easily intuited anyway, yet that doesn’t necessarily make it pleasant. Still, that is part of the deal and not a sufficient deterrent to a place that has so much appeal. As to corruption, irrespective of who “invented” it, it hurts Indians more than tourists, and it is a very real problem. Of course, the only thing to do is to chuckle along with the inconveniences and unpleasantries, but that doesn’t mean that every once in a while you won’t reach a point at which the words, “ok, this fucking sucks” cross your mind. It strikes me that in writing a travelogue it would be more misleading to suggest that everything was awesome, because it wasn’t always awesome – and nor is it travelling in Europe, Asia, North America etc. If you are fortunate to be blessed with infinite patience then travelling will always be a breeze, but most people aren’t. Anyways, best wishes to you too!
There is a lot of negative at the beginning of your article and it would lead the less adventurous to avoid India. You know what a fantastic place it is for all the madness and mayhem. but thats the package. And as you say its true no matter where you go, and even the most cautious can get shat on. So yea maybe I was just lucky but on the food issue I take especial care as I hate the notion of spending travelling time sick. Go luck for the future and best wishes.
Hello,
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TheGirl
Wonderfull post. Thanks for expressing your feelings which are quite understandable. I was born in hilly region of India but was brought up in various cities (credit goes to indian army in which my father served ). I myself lived and worked in sydney (2 yrs) and visited japan, singapore, dubai, malaysia, thailand. I have no doubt about what you have experienced in India.
The problem in India is; its half a billion population is poor and illiterate , which is exploited by corrupt politicians, government officials and some of the rich classes. But I believe with the growing middle class, media, and communication channels the problem of poverty , infrastructure, hygiene, and health will be taken care of to large extent in next decade. And I hope if you visit India by 2020 things will be much better in most of the places.
As far as problem of staring is concerned , it is hard to generalise it but the main reason is fascination of most of the Indians to foriegn world. Indians have seen Indians only (mostly to settle) going to western countries not vice a versa. People used to visit india but only through organised tours where interaction with locals was limited , it is recently people (non Indians) have started travelling on their own and interacting with locals. And most of the time interaction might be short because of language difference. But I hope with time locals will get used it as most of people in tourist places in India are.
Hoping you will visit India third time as well and have much more fullfilling experience.
Beautifully written and engaging post! . . . Appreciated the honesty surrounding travel to a fascinating and diverse country like India with heartbreaking poverty and so many other challenges.
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Hello! First up – beautiful pictures. Second, your observations would hit a raw nerve of many an Indian and we apologize for the inconveniences our country put you through. Third, please visit a few spots off the usual tourist map eg: Tarkarli, Pandharpur in Maharashtra – you will not only get quite a few unusual pictures but you will also find that Indians have very warm hearts.
I recently travelled east to Siliguri. Amazing.
This is a great explanation of the joys of traveling the subcontinent. An assault on all senses from all sides all the time 🙂
Great photos 🙂
Your posts about India are really insightful!! I just spent the semester in Italy and really enjoy traveling too. I followed your blog and it would be great if you would do the same because I could really use someone like you on my side haha!!! Anywho my blog is mostfun.wordpress.com
Stay beautiful!
Very well documented experience, and well articulated. To an Indian like me, this piece gives insight into the perspective of a foreign traveller and exposes the unpleasantness that one might have to face here.
India is fascinating and frustrating to everyone I’ve ever met, even to Indians ourselves. I can see you loved it in spite of (or maybe because of?) all the craziness and chaos you encountered 🙂
I’m going to go have a look at your more recent posts about India now 🙂
Thanks for your comment and sorry about the late response – yes, I certainly did love India overall, very much so. I do try to make it clear that I’m bringing a very “Western” “first-world” perspective, which is as much about my own limitations and expectations. Thanks again!